The Deep Dark Spiral of Death, Doom, and Despair

Lately, I’ve been having a LOT more bad days than good. It’s like every time something bad happens, I go into a spiral of darkness and despair, where everything I do and say is depressing, nothing makes me happy, and everyone and everything just SUCKS. During these moments, I am prone to violent outbursts, crying fits, intense panic attacks, and have a general “stay the fuck away and leave me alone” attitude.

This semester has been filled with them. I honestly cannot remember a day where I was truly happy- there have been moments where I was having fun, I think, but nothing really memorable. When Will is around, I’m okay, but not even he can reverse the spiral and the way it affects me. He keeps it at bay for a little while, but it always comes back.

Anyway, currently freaking out that I’m not going to graduate this semester…this year, even. Intermediate Biochemistry was my downfall last year, too, and taking it this semester proved to be a horrible, hateful idea. This class, mixed with all the stress of working, running a club, all my other classes, and family shit was the worst idea in the world. I need at least a C to pass and graduate on time.

I have no idea how I did on that final. I guess we’ll see soon enough. I just really wish teachers wouldn’t say one thing and then take it back. :/